Published on Saturday, August 05, 2006

'New Choices' offers hope

By Bobbie Burks
Staff writer

Combining the roles of breadwinner, child rearer, motivator, companion and contact person for siblings can be an overwhelming sacrifice.

"Care (for) everyone and sacrifice myself - I did that for years," said Silvia Rivera, a 38-year-old mother of four. "It's nice to be needed, but it's also nice to take."

Rivera, who recently moved from Connecticut to Fayetteville, participates in The Women's Center of Fayetteville's New Choices program. The program is designed to help people, especially displaced homemakers, achieve their career goals.

The price of being "Ms. Everything" to everyone left Rivera feeling frustrated because the life she dreamed she would live was no longer in view.

Rivera, a woman who dreamed of going to college, owning a home and starting a business, was buried under mounting obligations. The role of a caretaker overrode the things she needed to do to make her dreams a reality.

She's been a mother since the age of 16 and over time she found herself handling her siblings' affairs.

"You just manage, but sometimes you just get tired of that - you want more," she said.

After the deaths of her sister and mother, it seemed like everyone was leaning on her and she didn't have anything or anyone to lean on.

The seventh of 10 children, Rivera said she was responsible for major decisions such as family gatherings, funeral arrangements and opening her home to family members who needed help finding their way.

"I was always the one to put the pieces together when disasters happened," she said.

"I was just mostly the one they relied on for information. I was just their resource."

Ultimately the frustration became unbearable and in May she made her move for Fayetteville. In Connecticut, she worked in property management, so the move made sense because it was conducive to her dream of owning a home.

"I needed to get out. Basically I was getting tired," she said. "I needed something to pull back that energy I needed."

Upon her arrival to Fayetteville, the Department of Social Services referred her to The Women's Center.

Jessica Strong, director for the New Choices program, said Rivera's story reflects the many clients who enter the program.

"A lot of the clients that come in are in sort of a transition state,"" she said. "for other people that they forget about themselves.

"It is an opportunity for them to work on something for themselves. We give them the tools that they need to move on to some place they want to be."

The program focuses on economic empowerment and education through sessions that explore career planning, job-readiness and computer software. Clients also are referred to other agencies for resources.

Strong said within the last six months they have helped 243 clients. Of that number, 71 people were placed in jobs paying between $9 and $11 an hour. Eighty people have enrolled in a two- or four-year college.

Rivera said the program is just what she needed. It's helping her reclaim the vision she once had for her life.

"It's helping me to do it step by step,"

Rivera has received help with resume and cover-letter writing. She said the staff even helps her fax and mail her resume and with computer usage.

On Monday, she took another step toward success when she left her job as a grocery store cashier for a job as a receptionist at an insurance company.

The once frustrated caretaker is now at peace because she knows her goals of owning a home, going to college and starting a business are reachable.

"It's about breaking a cycle. I lived a vicious cycle," Rivera said. "It's about making my dreams happen."

Staff writer Bobbie Burks can be reached at burksb@fayettevillenc.com or 486-3571.
Copyright 2006 - The Fayetteville (NC) Observer

This is Ms. Rivera, the client.
 

 This is Ms. Strong, teaching her very first class at the Women's Center. About a week later, she officially started work as New Choices Director.

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